Sometimes instead of holding it in and being strong, It's okay to let it go and cry for a little while..
I'm exploding my emotions for my own grief, not as an attempt to get attention from my ex. Some people might misunderstood by it. :)
To remove someone from your life is never easy especially when they have fill the void for a really long time. But honestly, I should congratulate myself for being so strong all these years. It has been almost 10 years for us. But now that I think of it, I don't really know you well enough. Not just that, most of the times I don't really know how to feel for you, it's such a confusion for me.. and the worst part is, I have no one to share the pain I felt. Until one day I realized that I should care for myself first before I cared about other. It's the key for me to change, to face the reality, that I really need to end this.
I admit that I undergone the change of heart for a while, and I did told you about this before. I constantly denied the fact that my feelings for you have fade away time by time.. I tried to hold onto it, because I know it's not easy to let go of someone you are comfortable with even when the love is not there anymore. But at the end, I choose to stop when things didn't come out as I expected, when thing always gone wrong way for us, when we became toxic to each other day by day.
And for the people who I have hurt while I'm hurting myself, I sincerely apologize. I know that I can be aggressive sometimes, it has become a habit of me to defense myself from being hurt, I hurt people around me. I can't people not to leave me, but if they chose to leave me. I won't stop them. Now, I chose to express, to open myself up, I don't want to harden myself to the world. I want to be bold in who and how I love.
I'm exploding my emotions for my own grief, not as an attempt to get attention from my ex. Some people might misunderstood by it. :)
To remove someone from your life is never easy especially when they have fill the void for a really long time. But honestly, I should congratulate myself for being so strong all these years. It has been almost 10 years for us. But now that I think of it, I don't really know you well enough. Not just that, most of the times I don't really know how to feel for you, it's such a confusion for me.. and the worst part is, I have no one to share the pain I felt. Until one day I realized that I should care for myself first before I cared about other. It's the key for me to change, to face the reality, that I really need to end this.
I admit that I undergone the change of heart for a while, and I did told you about this before. I constantly denied the fact that my feelings for you have fade away time by time.. I tried to hold onto it, because I know it's not easy to let go of someone you are comfortable with even when the love is not there anymore. But at the end, I choose to stop when things didn't come out as I expected, when thing always gone wrong way for us, when we became toxic to each other day by day.
And for the people who I have hurt while I'm hurting myself, I sincerely apologize. I know that I can be aggressive sometimes, it has become a habit of me to defense myself from being hurt, I hurt people around me. I can't people not to leave me, but if they chose to leave me. I won't stop them. Now, I chose to express, to open myself up, I don't want to harden myself to the world. I want to be bold in who and how I love.